I do understand the temptation to rhapsodize on the sexiness of Snape. I just think it needs to be done in character, in voice, and without cliches -- and in moderation.
Most of the time I don't see the point of describing eye color at all. Harry (or whoever the POV character is) might notice what Snape's eyes are doing -- narrowed? wide? heavy-lidded? dilated? -- and he might take note of exactly what Snape is looking at -- Harry's mouth? his own hands? -- but I would think it would be fairly unusual for Harry to take note of what color Snape's eyes were. Never mind compare them to a semi-precious stone. Unless the POV character were a jeweler or an arrowhead-maker, which is a different situation altogether.
If for some reason I wanted Harry describe the physical appearance of Snape's eyes, I might do it with a character-specific metaphor. ("Black as a bludger, Harry thought, and about as yielding.") Otherwise I'd stick with something mundane like "black" or "dark." I would try very hard to stay away from stars, gems, flowers, and other words that are included in the Magnetic Poetry set.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 7/30/03 06:58 pm (UTC)Most of the time I don't see the point of describing eye color at all. Harry (or whoever the POV character is) might notice what Snape's eyes are doing -- narrowed? wide? heavy-lidded? dilated? -- and he might take note of exactly what Snape is looking at -- Harry's mouth? his own hands? -- but I would think it would be fairly unusual for Harry to take note of what color Snape's eyes were. Never mind compare them to a semi-precious stone. Unless the POV character were a jeweler or an arrowhead-maker, which is a different situation altogether.
If for some reason I wanted Harry describe the physical appearance of Snape's eyes, I might do it with a character-specific metaphor. ("Black as a bludger, Harry thought, and about as yielding.") Otherwise I'd stick with something mundane like "black" or "dark." I would try very hard to stay away from stars, gems, flowers, and other words that are included in the Magnetic Poetry set.