While I don't disagree with your objection to 'obsidian', what adjectives would or do you use for Snape's eyes? I don't mean to be contrary, just curious.
(tangent: We have a lot of it around the house, and I've always loved that it's really glassy, more brown that solid black, and so strong but easily splintered...)
And I confess to having used obsidian, knowing full well it was a cliche. Rather, Remus used it in his poem, and I can't help it if he's a Harlequin-romantic. *g*
*taking notes on the other words, so that if I use them, it's consciously*
I do understand the temptation to rhapsodize on the sexiness of Snape. I just think it needs to be done in character, in voice, and without cliches -- and in moderation.
Most of the time I don't see the point of describing eye color at all. Harry (or whoever the POV character is) might notice what Snape's eyes are doing -- narrowed? wide? heavy-lidded? dilated? -- and he might take note of exactly what Snape is looking at -- Harry's mouth? his own hands? -- but I would think it would be fairly unusual for Harry to take note of what color Snape's eyes were. Never mind compare them to a semi-precious stone. Unless the POV character were a jeweler or an arrowhead-maker, which is a different situation altogether.
If for some reason I wanted Harry describe the physical appearance of Snape's eyes, I might do it with a character-specific metaphor. ("Black as a bludger, Harry thought, and about as yielding.") Otherwise I'd stick with something mundane like "black" or "dark." I would try very hard to stay away from stars, gems, flowers, and other words that are included in the Magnetic Poetry set.
The more I think about this, the more grateful I am that you've made me think about it. It's so easy so slip into fandom cliches, without even realizing it.
I recently re-read my first fic and am frankly more than a bit embarrassed by a few elements. You are quite right that it's more important to describe what the eyes are doing (actually useful to the story) than their color (just flowery description).
Oh, lord. It's dangerous to go back and look at your earliest stories! I had to change the coding on mine recently, and I just sort of closed my eyes and typed in the codes and clicked out quickly before I could read them and be embarrassed all over again.
In slash in particular, I think every writer is wrestling (with varying degrees of success) with the temptation to turn every story into An Ode To The Sexiness Of My Beloved Slash Object.
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(no subject)
Date: 7/26/03 10:49 am (UTC)(tangent: We have a lot of it around the house, and I've always loved that it's really glassy, more brown that solid black, and so strong but easily splintered...)
And I confess to having used obsidian, knowing full well it was a cliche. Rather, Remus used it in his poem, and I can't help it if he's a Harlequin-romantic. *g*
*taking notes on the other words, so that if I use them, it's consciously*
(no subject)
Date: 7/30/03 06:58 pm (UTC)Most of the time I don't see the point of describing eye color at all. Harry (or whoever the POV character is) might notice what Snape's eyes are doing -- narrowed? wide? heavy-lidded? dilated? -- and he might take note of exactly what Snape is looking at -- Harry's mouth? his own hands? -- but I would think it would be fairly unusual for Harry to take note of what color Snape's eyes were. Never mind compare them to a semi-precious stone. Unless the POV character were a jeweler or an arrowhead-maker, which is a different situation altogether.
If for some reason I wanted Harry describe the physical appearance of Snape's eyes, I might do it with a character-specific metaphor. ("Black as a bludger, Harry thought, and about as yielding.") Otherwise I'd stick with something mundane like "black" or "dark." I would try very hard to stay away from stars, gems, flowers, and other words that are included in the Magnetic Poetry set.
(no subject)
Date: 8/3/03 12:55 am (UTC)I recently re-read my first fic and am frankly more than a bit embarrassed by a few elements. You are quite right that it's more important to describe what the eyes are doing (actually useful to the story) than their color (just flowery description).
Thanks for opening my eyes! (aquamarine *g*)
(no subject)
Date: 8/11/03 12:50 pm (UTC)In slash in particular, I think every writer is wrestling (with varying degrees of success) with the temptation to turn every story into An Ode To The Sexiness Of My Beloved Slash Object.