Nitpicking, again.

[resonant]

Word I don't ever want to read again in a story:

Obsidian.

Thank you, and goodnight.

Comments

[ficklememeer.livejournal.com]

Um....K.

Got an eraser?

Meep.

*wink*

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Alabaster.

[fabularasa.livejournal.com]

I see your alabaster and raise you emerald.

[bethbethbeth.livejournal.com]

"I'm looking for Doctor Smith; do you know where she is?"

"Try the OB, Sid. Ian, go show Sid where it is."

See? A perfectly acceptable use of "ob-sid-ian."

Although it *is* for a Sex Pistols mpreg story, so...

*g*

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I could have lived a long and happy life without ever reading the words "Sex Pistols mpreg."

[undeadjournal.livejournal.com]

a Sex Pistols mpreg story

That is officially the funniest thing I've read all day.

I went and looked Obsidian up, and the whole word is a mistake from the start. Merriam-Webster says:

Etymology: New Latin obsidianus, from Latin obsidianus lapis, false manuscript reading for obsianus lapis, literally, stone of Obsius, from Obsius, its supposed discoverer.

So we should all have been using "obsian" anyway, but somebody copied it out wrong a thousand years ago.

Please make "obsious/obvious" jokes. I'm too tired.

[katallison.livejournal.com]

I am now going to write you a casefile story in which the plot turns on a mysterious obsidian ceremonial sculpture whose provenance Fraser deduces by examining its embedded cristobalite crystal patterns. Fraser will say "obsidian" a great deal, and despite his best efforts Ray will be unable to wholly shut him up. Hah.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Promise?

[salazaar.livejournal.com]

*delurks*

Emerald.

Jade.

Porcelain.

And "ebon," which as Tradescant has noted, is not even word.

*relurks*

[salazaar.livejournal.com]

Er, "not even A word"

Sorry.

::curious::

[thermidor.livejournal.com]

um, what was obsidian this time? Hair color? eyes?

My personal favorite misused mineral color is lapis lazuli ;)

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Severus Snape's eyes, of course. There seems to be some sort of law that his eyes are never described as anything other than obsidian. (And, yes, it seems to pull the word "orbs" in after it like some sort of bratty snot-nosed younger sister.)

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

But you can make arrowheads and knives out of it, it's terribly useful stuff.

And if you're really lucky, you can attempt to make an arrowhead with it, slice open your palm, and scar yourself for life!

Sam, also avoiding obsidian whenever possible.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Well, hey, if you have a scar on your hand, at least you have the advantage of really confusing palm readers.

[kaiz.livejournal.com]

I think I could live with 'obsidian' as long as it wasn't paired with the word 'orbs'.

Come to think of it, I can handle *any* "color" adjective as long as it doesn't modify the word 'orbs' (as in "jade green orbs", "chocolate brown orbs", "cerulean blue orbs", ad nauseum.)

::eg::

[raincitygirl.livejournal.com]

I agree. The only place I want to see 'orbs' is in reference to an Orb of Thessula. Which means that outside of Buffyfic, it should never be used.

Globes for breasts is worse, though. I've read that and thought "Oh my God, if you're a female writer, peek inside your bra. If you're a male, clearly you've never had sex with a woman, but you could at least buy a magazine to educate yourself."

[strangerian.livejournal.com]

Sapphire. Cerulean.

Let's just outlaw "orbs" and keep the jewel colors for epics about deranged interior decorators and Benton Fraser.

[musesfool.livejournal.com]

Yes! No orbs. No jewel-tones. No locks or tresses, either.

God help me, someone remove all the Harlequins from these people's lives before I'm moved to violence.

[musesfool.livejournal.com]

Could we get that passed into law?

It should never, ever modify 'hair' (nor any archaic and froufrou synonym for hair that no self-respecting man would *ever* use) again.

[ellen-fremedon.livejournal.com]

Re: orbs, of various colors--

Check out, if you haven't already, the MSTing (http://www.bmsc.washington.edu/people/merritt/books/Eye_of_Argon.html) of "The Eye of Argon," (http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/~susan/sf/argon.htm) the worst sword-and-sorcery story ever written.

DO NOT DRINK ANYTHING WHILE READING!

I haven't been able to read the word 'orbs' since without smirking. Or 'gore.' Or 'faucet.' Or 'lithe,' or 'opaque.'

[doll-revolution.livejournal.com]

i want to be your bitch.

i think my "orbs" are bleeding. (but in the good way)

bring forth the eyefork!!

[lexin.livejournal.com]

My votes are for the complete removal of 'Snape Manor', and everything that goes with it, and my perpetual bete noir, 'graduate'.

[jacquez.livejournal.com]

preach it, sistah

[tinderblast.livejournal.com]

I have to add: turgid in a 'love scene'. I just don't know where to start with that one. It's just so grotesque, and desperately un-sexy.


brodie

[xoverau.livejournal.com]

I was reading a story the other night in which they referred to a German Shepherd's groin area as his "doggyhood".

Next to that, obsidian almost sounds intelligent.

(I was going to say that obsidian paled beside it, but then it would be hematite. Or quartz. Or silvery-ashen. Or something.)

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. God.

I thought "elfhood" was going to win for "going to insane lengths to avoid saying the word 'penis.'" But you win.

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

I'm with you on the "obsidian" et al, but I also never need to read the following EVER AGAIN...

"errant lock of hair..." (been guilty of this myself)

"...released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding..." (ditto)

"his/her ministrations..."

"blues" "greens" or "grays" without the word "eyes," as in, "His greens locked onto Fraser's deep blues, and..." What, is Vecchio's salad making a play for Fraser?

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

For some reason I've seen an awful lot of the phrase "oral ministrations."

And every time I see it, I think, "This is sexy to ... anyone?"

but....but.....

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

....what should the Aztec sacrificial knife be made of, then? Flint is so declasse.

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

Alabaster.

"molten core"

'ejaculated' in place of 'said'

"luv"

[norah.livejournal.com]

I love the "my fandom has wanking budgies" icon.

How about the word "nave" instead of "naÏve"?

nave 1) n. The central part of a church, extending from the narthex to the chancel and flanked by aisles.
2)n. The hub of a wheel.

Even in otherwise well-written fic. Oy.

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

"Ooh, baby!" he ejaculated, thrusting himself into the hot narthex before him.

[marycrawford.livejournal.com]

'Buddy'. Any fandom, but particularly Hercules: the Legendary Journeys.

Especially 'little buddy', but 'buddy' by itself will do. Or rather, will not. Ugh.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Oh, lord. I haven't read any Hercules slash for so long that I had actually blocked out all memory of "little buddy" in any context but Gilligan re-runs.

Sorry for mentioning slash and Gilligan in the same sentence.

[tinderblast.livejournal.com]

It's not terrible per se, but I've seen permutations of 'you're a little overdressed' in so many stories.

'I'm perfectly fine now, but you're wearing too many clothes.'

or

'There's smoething wrong.'

'What?'

'You've got too many clothes on ... '

It's funny the first time.

brodie

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

While I don't disagree with your objection to 'obsidian', what adjectives would or do you use for Snape's eyes? I don't mean to be contrary, just curious.

(tangent: We have a lot of it around the house, and I've always loved that it's really glassy, more brown that solid black, and so strong but easily splintered...)

And I confess to having used obsidian, knowing full well it was a cliche. Rather, Remus used it in his poem, and I can't help it if he's a Harlequin-romantic. *g*

*taking notes on the other words, so that if I use them, it's consciously*

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I do understand the temptation to rhapsodize on the sexiness of Snape. I just think it needs to be done in character, in voice, and without cliches -- and in moderation.

Most of the time I don't see the point of describing eye color at all. Harry (or whoever the POV character is) might notice what Snape's eyes are doing -- narrowed? wide? heavy-lidded? dilated? -- and he might take note of exactly what Snape is looking at -- Harry's mouth? his own hands? -- but I would think it would be fairly unusual for Harry to take note of what color Snape's eyes were. Never mind compare them to a semi-precious stone. Unless the POV character were a jeweler or an arrowhead-maker, which is a different situation altogether.

If for some reason I wanted Harry describe the physical appearance of Snape's eyes, I might do it with a character-specific metaphor. ("Black as a bludger, Harry thought, and about as yielding.") Otherwise I'd stick with something mundane like "black" or "dark." I would try very hard to stay away from stars, gems, flowers, and other words that are included in the Magnetic Poetry set.