... and even 14-year-olds know restraint spells.

[resonant]

The minister of our church is doing a sermon series called "Some Lessons From Hogwarts."

Yes, he is. I am embarrassed on his behalf, but there you go. He wants to be Relevant. I suppose I should be happy that he's not doing sermons in rap.

I have to maintain a straight face, because it's kind of bad form to have excessive eye-rolling in the choir.

Funny, he hasn't mentioned any of the lessons I've learned from Hogwarts. Things like: Multiple orgasms are a side effect of lycanthropy ... 90% of Potions accidents result in the creation of a potent aphrodisiac ... and Potions masters spend most of their spare time making lubricant.

Comments

What about

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

...all closets are like refridgerators and annot be opened from the inside?

[vickita.livejournal.com]

I have to maintain a straight face, because it's kind of bad form to have excessive eye-rolling in the choir.

LOL!!! What kind of form is it to *snerk* a Three Musketeers bar up your nose in your cubicle?

(Ow.)

[goseaward.livejournal.com]

*resists urge to question about the icon*

Multiple orgasms are a side effect of lycanthropy ... LOL, I know.

What about any hair that appears greasy is really just soft and/or affected by fumes but easily washable? Or there is no hatred that can't be turned into glorious sex?

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

The wanking budgies are in Speranza's lovely Due South story, Juggling Act. (http://www.trickster.org/speranza/Juggling.html) She really ought to be the one with the icon, but when Lanning made it, I begged for it, so she let me have it.

From the pedant in the corner...

[(Anonymous)]

Gorgeous icon, but there's one problem *ahem* its a rainbow lorikeet not a budgie.

Sorry

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Heh. Someone always points that out. I need to come up with some explanation that makes it sound like we did it on purpose, huh?

Just trying to see if you're alert. Yeah. That's it.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Or there is no hatred that can't be turned into glorious sex?

That sounds like it would almost fit into a church's teachings!

[amberfox.livejournal.com]

Go, read. It's fabulous. See: Fraser and RayK undercover with a circus! See: Ray, the Angry Clown! See: Hitler on Ice! (Sorry, couldn't help it. ^_^)

*snicker*

[barbana.livejournal.com]

Or that if there's a class field trip the only teacher available for chaperon duty is Snape.

Potion fumes = greasy hair and that's the only reason it's nasty looking.

The Wand's primary use is kinky sex aid.

[nestra.livejournal.com]

And there's a surprisingly number of spells that require semen exchange.

[askye.livejournal.com]

Just when RunDMC came out with Walk This Way, our pastor did a sermon where he used that phrase just about every other paragraph. I don't think he was trying to be relevent, but the song came on as we drove to church and ended as we got in the parking lot.

Every time he said "You must walk this way" my Dad and I nearly died trying to hold in the our laughter. I think we made it through the sermon, but I'm not sure.

[dsudis.livejournal.com]

You think that's bad? In my senior year of high school (at an all-girls' Catholic school) we had a class called 'Christian Lifestyles' where they finally gave us some semi-useful sex ed and whatnot, and the teacher is standing at the front of the room, talking about how sex within marriage is beautiful and wonderful and 'Brings me closer to God.' I flashed on Nine Inch Nails and almost *died*.

[cedarlibrarian.livejournal.com]

If he starts doing sermons as Dr. Seuss parodies, run screaming in the other direction.

ahahahahaha!

[nyn.livejournal.com]

I should so have a master's degree from all the things being a HP fan has taught me.

* All long term spells used to change someone's appearance (e.g.: to make them look like their fake father, not their real father) will wear off precisely at midnight on the bespelled person's birthday (preferably their 15th birthday), no matter the date and time of original casting.

* Never trust a man with a neon green bowler hat...or a reporter with a neon green quill...or a spell that produces neon green light...Oh, heck, just anything to do with the color green.

* There is no danger so great that it can't be solved by an emergency handfasting/soul bonding/binding/marriage ceremony that results in a hot, steamy consummation. Preferably if one of the parties had begun the day as a virgin.

* What Voldemort really wants is to be Harry Potter's baby daddy. And then steal the poor infant and do evil, Voldemort-ish things to it, like dress it in green (the color of EEEEVIL) and teach it to hate Gryffindors.

* What Harry Potter really, secretly wants is to be a Slytherin and Draco Malfoy's bestest friend, he just doesn't know it yet. Forget all those canonical years of the burning hatred of a thousand fiery suns.

* What Draco Malfoy really, secretly wants is to be a Gryffindor and Harry Potter's bestest friend. He even knows this, but must pretend otherwise. Forget the lifetime of being taught to hate everything Potter and the pages and pages of evidence otherwise.

And I'll make myself stop there. ::g:: I never realized how truly enlightening being a HP fan was!

[cursive.livejournal.com]

Our Vice-Chancellor (like the president of the university) recently published his annual "message" with exactly the same title. The whole column was about pride in teaching, academic collegiality, and the dangers of a massified education system. That is, he claimed, the first thing you learn from Hogwarts - pride in education/knowledge framed by the above principles. And, huh, were we reading the same book?

He also never mentioned the orgasms or the lubricant.

[xoverau.livejournal.com]

You'll have to provide us with a transcript. *snickers*

[laurakaye.livejournal.com]

All long term spells used to change someone's appearance (e.g.: to make them look like their fake father, not their real father) will wear off precisely at midnight on the bespelled person's birthday (preferably their 15th birthday), no matter the date and time of original casting.

Severitus has a lot to answer for. *G*