Inside the mind of the Res

[resonant]

Last night I dreamed that I was at Hogwarts uncovering a scandal involving certain professors trading grades for sexual favors.

For confirmation, I sneaked into Lockhart's office. I discovered a silk curtain that could be used to screen off the window so no one could see in, and also a silk-covered -- well, it was a piece of furniture of some sort, like a cross between a sitting pillow, an ottoman, and an armchair. In my mind, the very strangeness of it presaged horrible sexual violations.

There were rumors about Lupin, too, and even about McGonagall.

Why is all this so steeped in menace, you ask? I mean, I read Harry/Snape. I write Harry/Snape.

Ah, but in the dream the person who was being coerced into trading sex for grades was my little brother.

My little brother is thirty-seven and well past the need to trade anything at all for grades, but apparently in my head he's still in need of protection from rapacious authority figures. (I knew I shouldn't have said that stuff about him and Donald Rumsfeld.)

Comments

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Yeah -- my best friend's son, who's sort of like a nephew to me, is younger than Clark Kent, which made reading first-season Smallville kind of tricky, especially the Te variety with the corsets and stuff. I just kept telling myself, "TV fifteen is like TV ugly."

Chan is problematic for me. On the one hand, it makes me profoundly uncomfortable to read stories that put the very young into sexual situations. (I'm OK down to about fifteen; any younger than that, and I start to squirm.) My reaction is probably influenced by the fact that I have a five-year-old daughter.

But on the other hand, one of my biggest, most reliable kinks is the sexual awakening kink -- what I sometimes call The Blue Lagoon: "What are these strange new feelings? What happens when I touch you ... here?"

So I find myself seeking out first-sexual-experience stories, even though the search often leads me into stories that I'm really uncomfortable reading. And it means that I respond to chan, even to wildly underaged chan; it turns me on, it moves me, even when it horrifies and frightens me.

(One of the things I like about slash is that you can plausibly have certain kinds of sexual awakenings even in characters who are adults. It's like the best of both worlds for me.)