There's a great book called "So You Want to Be A Lesbian?" by Liz Tracey & Sidney Pokorny. In the "Coming Out" section ("No, Mom, I didn't say Lebanese," they talk about "acidental" coming out -- "Whoops, I just came out to Aunt Martha and she passed out in the strudel." They say don't worry, act accordingly,which in this case the first thing to do is fish Aunt Martha out of the pastry. It's a funny book, but there's a lot of good sense under the smart-ass remarks.
"You're not, really," is pretty close to the reaction they call "Selective Hearing Loss," or "It's just a phase, dear." It's interesting how some people that you'd think would be fine with it simply vanish, and some you think would freak barely blink. In the long run, being out to as many folks as possible is infinitely easier, but -- to whom and when is so personal it's a decision nobody else can make.
I hope your friend manages to realize you are still the same person, and only her mental image is different now. Good luck!
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Date: 5/25/04 09:35 pm (UTC)There's a great book called "So You Want to Be A Lesbian?" by Liz Tracey & Sidney Pokorny. In the "Coming Out" section ("No, Mom, I didn't say Lebanese," they talk about "acidental" coming out -- "Whoops, I just came out to Aunt Martha and she passed out in the strudel." They say don't worry, act accordingly,which in this case the first thing to do is fish Aunt Martha out of the pastry. It's a funny book, but there's a lot of good sense under the smart-ass remarks.
"You're not, really," is pretty close to the reaction they call "Selective Hearing Loss," or "It's just a phase, dear." It's interesting how some people that you'd think would be fine with it simply vanish, and some you think would freak barely blink. In the long run, being out to as many folks as possible is infinitely easier, but -- to whom and when is so personal it's a decision nobody else can make.
I hope your friend manages to realize you are still the same person, and only her mental image is different now. Good luck!