Hypothetical story meme
Sep. 16th, 2012 04:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
resonantThis is just the sort of thing I can't resist, and just the sort of thing that adds to my list of Stories That Will Probably Never Be Finished, but ... (taken from torch):
Pick a trope from this list and provide a fandom/pairing and I'll tell you something about the story I'd write for that combination (i.e. write a snippet from the story or write not!fic or tell you the title and summary for the story I would write)
1. genderswap
2. bodyswap
3. drunk!fic
4. huddling for warmth
5. pretending to be married
6. secretly a virgin
7. amnesia
8. cross-dressing
9. forced to share a bed
10. truth or dare
11. historical AU
12. accidental-baby-acquisition
13. apocalypse fic
14. telepathy
15. High School / College AU
I'll take any of the fandoms I've written in plus ... let's see, in the past year I've seen all three Men In Black movies, plus seasons 1-4 of Buffy and the first few eps of Angel (yeah, so late to the party that the house isn't even there any more).
torch):Pick a trope from this list and provide a fandom/pairing and I'll tell you something about the story I'd write for that combination (i.e. write a snippet from the story or write not!fic or tell you the title and summary for the story I would write)
1. genderswap
2. bodyswap
3. drunk!fic
4. huddling for warmth
5. pretending to be married
6. secretly a virgin
7. amnesia
8. cross-dressing
9. forced to share a bed
10. truth or dare
11. historical AU
12. accidental-baby-acquisition
13. apocalypse fic
14. telepathy
15. High School / College AU
I'll take any of the fandoms I've written in plus ... let's see, in the past year I've seen all three Men In Black movies, plus seasons 1-4 of Buffy and the first few eps of Angel (yeah, so late to the party that the house isn't even there any more).
(no subject)
Date: 9/16/12 10:25 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/17/12 02:41 am (UTC)Back in the 1940s, Little Steve wakes up from a dream of being squeezed to death by a boa constrictor to discover that the neck of his skivvy shirt and the thigh openings of his shorts are so tight that he's losing circulation.
Yesterday he asked a neighborhood dame named Betty to a dance, and she laughed in his face; today she gets right up off the stoop and puts her arm through his and says, "You new in town? Let me show you around." Yesterday he tried to stop a bully from beating a dog and got his face shoved into the pavement; today the same bully backs into a doorway when he sees Steve coming. Nobody recognizes him, and everybody treats him like some kind of movie star until he's ready to spit.
Until Bucky comes home from work. "You used to be smaller." "Yeah, I remember." "Tell me about it." "No idea." "Huh. OK. [pause] So. Wanna go whistle at girls?" "Nah. Let's go get something to eat."
Meanwhile, on the Helicarrier, in the middle of Steve and Tony's "Put on the suit -- let's go a few rounds" fight, Steve begins to cough, and then to wheeze, and he has a full-on asthma attack, bends double, and ... shrinks into Little Steve. His uniform is comically too big, he's about Natasha's height, he can hardly breathe -- and he's still ready to scrap with Tony.
And then Loki attacks the Helicarrier and Banner transforms into the Hulk. Tony keeps trying to protect Steve, and Steve is all like, Outta my way, Stretch; I've got a trickster god to fight. Unable to help Tony using brute strength, he comes up with Something Amazing that I can't think of right now, but in addition to being something only a little tiny person could do, it's also Terribly Clever and Terribly Brave, and they restart the engines and so on.
I'm thinking they switch back in the night, each asleep beside his handsome naked boyfriend.
If anyone says, "But if Steve changes bodies in the 1940s, it changes the entire timeline and probably there will never be a real Captain America and your whole plot will swallow its own tail and disappear," I plan to point to Loki and say, "It's his fault."
(no subject)
Date: 9/17/12 10:47 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/16/12 11:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/17/12 03:11 am (UTC)I'm going to say Bender and Allison, post-graduation. He has to have a wife to save him from some kind of trouble. I can't imagine what -- I'm picturing some chain of events that goes: going back to school to vandalize the property, not getting caught in the act but getting tracked down by evidence, offering as an alibi "I was down at city hall getting married, smart guy." And the world-weary sergeant says, "Right, well, you've got 24 hours to produce a wife or you're going to jail."
And he calls everybody he knows, and they all laugh in his face, and finally he calls the Breakfast Club, and they all laugh in his face, all but Allison, who's working as, like, a nanny or something. But even though she's the only one who's willing to help him, and she's saving him from jail, he's still treating her with utter contempt on the phone, being really shitty to her.
So she shows up next morning all dressed up in a nice suit (it's the 1980s, so there's a bow around the neck and the shoulders are a mile wide) with her makeup all tastefully understated and her hair pulled back, and he goes right on being a shithead.
She and Bender go down to the police station -- him smirking in triumph, her pretending to be happy -- and the sergeant sighs and says, "Young lady, I hope you know what you've gotten yourself into," and lets them go.
The minute they're in private, he says, "You know what, this is bullshit," and he yanks the bow out of the neck of her fashionable mauve office blouse and says, "This is bullshit, Allison. This is not what you look like. Get that fucking headband out of your hair. This is not what you look like." And she gets that little sort of sideways amused look she had in the movie and says, "You take it off me, then."
And he pulls the headband off and tosses it out a window or something. Puts his hands in her hair and fluffs it out the way it's supposed to be -- she's grinning for real now -- and he rids her of her big-shouldered jacket -- "Careful! It's my cousin's!" "Fuck your cousin and her shitty Casual Corner careerwear." -- but he slows way down, and then there's kissage, and probably sexage.
And afterwards she hands him an eye crayon and makes him do her eyes back the way they're supposed to be.
(no subject)
Date: 9/17/12 03:12 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/17/12 07:18 am (UTC)I love this! Put that eyeliner back on, sister, and maybe put some on Bender for the hell of it.
(no subject)
Date: 9/18/12 01:56 am (UTC)A very sexy coda!
(no subject)
Date: 9/16/12 11:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/18/12 02:13 am (UTC)In fact, any Pippi At Hogwarts story is going to start out reading like the Mary Sueiest Mary Sue that ever Sued, as Pippi bests the Slytherins by being richer and stronger, bests the Gryffindors by seriously not being afraid of anything ever, and bests the Ravenclaws by getting to do anything she wants despite basically being functionally illiterate. (Pippi herself goes directly to Hufflepuff; any arguments out there?)
The only thing that saves her from making the story unbearable is that she is so.very.odd. In a wizarding world with Pippi in it, the defeat of Voldemort would get about two lines as the accidental outcome of an attempt to transform all the books in the library into peppermint sticks.
(no subject)
Date: 9/18/12 03:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/18/12 11:01 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/16/12 11:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/18/12 02:38 am (UTC)After the McGuffin Device, created by the supervillain Plotman, gives Steve a telepathic link into Tony's head, Steve gets to experience Tony's feelings when he buys a new suit (glee) and when he buys a new antique car (unholy glee) and when he perfects a new device (glee so unholy you could almost call it demonic).
So when Tony goes to a party and gets an encouraging smile from an actress/supermodel/bass guitarist/recent Harvard Law grad with no discernible last name, Steve figures he's in for a glee armageddon.
Instead, what he gets -- through the smiling and the dancing and the fingertips brushing accidentally over a glass of champagne, through the smooth seduction and the withdrawal to one of Tony's many bedrooms, through all the parts Steve tries not to pay attention to -- is a continual mutter of: "Fuck you, Dad. Fuck all of you."
(no subject)
Date: 9/17/12 04:37 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/18/12 03:02 am (UTC)But of course it was inevitable that it would be Steve pulling the jumper over his head.
The jumper was wool, and itched right through the blouse, and it was a little whiffy, like whoever had washed it had been skimping on the laundry soap. Bucky had no more idea how to style a girl's hair than Steve did, and anyway no girl would ever wear her hair as short as Steve's. No girl would be caught dead in Steve's Oxfords, either, but there were no shoes hanging on the washing line.
And there was no damned reason for Bucky to make him wear girls' underdrawers.
(no subject)
Date: 9/18/12 03:05 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/18/12 02:34 pm (UTC)You know, the story was hysterical, but your commentary was what actually made me laugh out loud. XD
(no subject)
Date: 9/17/12 06:15 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/18/12 03:18 am (UTC)Anyway, it's closer to hearing than anything else, and for a while Jensen enjoys people-watching and tuning into Random Stranger Radio, but that shit gets old fast. Learning how accurate spammers are about what people really want -- it just makes him sad.
And so does his team. Pooch is all Jolene, the baby, Jolene holding the baby, Pooch and Jolene making another baby. Clay's internal monologue is, like, a Batman movie's worth of gloom and guilt; Jensen had had no idea that there was even more of that bullshit than Clay was saying out loud.
Two and a half seconds in Aisha's brain is going to give him nightmares forever.
If he'd had this dubious gift a little sooner, he could have saved them some trouble with Roque.
He saves Cougar for last because, because, for reasons that are not pathetic in the least. But finally curiosity gets the best of him and he looks over at where Cougar is watching the world out from under the brim of that hat.
Oh. It's like icewater on a hot day, like when your fucking idiot neighbor turns the headbanger music off so you can sleep. A few words, a long stretch of nothing, a few more words ... he's just as quiet on the inside as he is on the outside.
And in the privacy of his own mind, he thinks of Jensen as Jake.
(no subject)
Date: 9/18/12 03:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/19/12 03:30 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/19/12 03:53 am (UTC)Of course, nobody in the world needs to read Jensen's mind, because it all comes spilling out his mouth anyway...
(no subject)
Date: 9/19/12 05:58 pm (UTC)Delightful! *smishes them gently together*
Oh, Clay... *snerk* Batman. ;)
(no subject)
Date: 9/17/12 12:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/17/12 01:10 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/17/12 01:20 pm (UTC)Okay... Due South: drunk! (where it's not RayK who's drunk, just for an extra challenge)
(no subject)
Date: 9/18/12 03:37 am (UTC)Thereby demonstrating my point about not being able to tell the characters apart ...
OK. So Fraser's not a comical drunk, not a confused and apologetic drunk, not an expansive and generous drunk. Unfortunately, he's also not an affectionate drunk or a confessional drunk. At least not with Ray. Maybe with Vecchio it was a different story, but with Ray --
Well, Fraser's been sitting there on Ray's floor for forever, with the bottles piling up on the dusty rug. And with every bottle, his mouth gets a little tighter and his eyes get a little narrower and the line between his eyebrows gets a little deeper. Apparently when Fraser lets his inhibitions down, he gets pissed.
"Might want to think about slowing down, buddy," Ray says, going down on his knees beside him and gathering up some of the empties. "You don't look like you're having fun."
"No," Fraser says. He's talking slow, paying close attention to every syllable, the way drunks do. "Fun is not the word."
"So what's the matter? Most people, they get a little buzz on, they relax a little. What's up with you?"
"Ray, are you familiar with the work of Franche and Dobson?" At Ray's headshake, he expands: "The spy -- sky -- psycologiststs. Their work proposes that, essentially -- ah, what was I saying?"
"Psychologists? Franche and whatsisjigger?" Fraser took the half-empty bottle away before Fraser could drink any more of it.
"Ah. Right. Their work proposes that mental health depends on, ah, a fiction."
He looks at Ray hopefully, like he thinks he's just explained something brilliant. It's the happiest he's looked since he opened his second bottle, and Ray hates to disappoint him, but: "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Fraser's mouth goes grim again. "Rightyouare." He stares at the rug for quite a while before picking up again. "Frobson. Proposed. That. Only our illusions make it possible for us to live in this world. That. If we saw clearly."
He gives up and leans his head back against the arm of Ray's couch, closing his eyes. When he speaks again, his voice sounds almost normal, just so thousand-year tired. "I try not to drink, Ray. It makes it impossible not to see."
(no subject)
Date: 9/18/12 03:49 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/18/12 03:56 am (UTC)I like the snippet - it's wonderfully dark. Oh, Fraser.
(no subject)
Date: 9/18/12 12:36 am (UTC)#15, Ratatouille, any pairing.
(no subject)
Date: 9/19/12 01:53 am (UTC)If it's a school, then the restaurant staff has to be a subgroup -- tightly closed, jealously guarded, viewing itself as superior to the average student -- and one that could realistically have a girl in it. Soccer team?
Gusteau was the beloved dead coach; Skinner is the new coach, formerly the assistant coach, but he's not all that great, and the team is glad he mostly stays in the office schmoozing alumni on the phone for money.
Linguini is a freshman, and kind of hapless, and everyone wonders how on earth he made the team ... well, first, he kicked a goal kind of by accident (with a little help -- more about that later), and second, he is Gusteau's son -- and has control over Gusteau's estate, which provides 95% of the income that supports the team.
Colette worked hard to break into the unofficial boys' club that is the team; when she finds herself having to make Linguini into a little less of a disaster as a player, she's unhappy at first, but finds herself falling for him.
Remy is still a rat, but he's a rat with an amazing talent at soccer. He's the one who redirected the ball into the goal that got Linguini onto the team.
Anton Ego? Talent scout for a pro team.
(no subject)
Date: 9/19/12 01:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9/21/12 03:13 am (UTC)LONG-TIME BIG FAN
Date: 9/18/12 08:31 pm (UTC)Re: LONG-TIME BIG FAN
Date: 9/23/12 02:42 am (UTC)Thor's the jock with daddy issues.
Bruce is the brain who winds up doing everybody else's papers for them.
Natasha's the criminal who can't be tamed by any rules.
I can't quite make Clint be Allison the basket case, but ...
Tony's the princess!