Mood goes ... thunk.

[resonant]

So I got 100% on a Microsoft Excel test yesterday, and I came home from work and removed a metric shit-ton of junk from my basement today, and I was feeling pretty darned good.

And then the spouse e-mailed me a link to a job in New City, and I thought, "Well, it's more secretarial work, which I don't really want, but on the other hand I have to have a job and it might be good practice to apply for this one."

So I download the application, and like the first question after basic identification is, "Have you ever been fired or asked to leave a job?"

And now my stomach is full of live squirmy things.

Obviously I'm going to have to process my damned feelings about this thing, even though it was eleven years ago and the company no longer exists¹, because I really can't be in the middle of a job interview and suddenly have a belly full of squirm.

Everything in the whole world sucks.

¹(and even though my preference regarding emotions will be familiar to anybody who ever tried to write in the POV of John Sheppard or Benton Fraser)

Comments

[out_there]

*sympathies*

Oddly enough, I was talking about this with Mum last night. The topic of dealing with being fired came up on a comedy/advice show "The Agony of Life" and we were talking about experiences of losing jobs. I got fired (well, sat down and given the choice of resigning with 2 weeks pay or being fired with 2 weeks pay), and at the time, I was gutted. It's something I can wryly accept now, but we're talking almost eight years ago and I remember how devasted I was at the time.

*hugs*

[resonant]

Looking back, I really wish I had gone to a counselor, because I started losing my professional confidence about one year into that job (way before I was fired) and it took me years to even begin to regain it.

[out_there]

*nodnodnod* I can understand that too well. I worked there for 18 months, but in hindsight, I should have quit at six month. It wasn't a good environment, my boss was outright insulting and hostile at times, and my personal response to feeling out of my depth was honestly to waste time. It wasn't a good job for me nad I wasn't a good employee in it. (I was a very active fan-writer, though. That went hand-in-hand.)

But, yeah, I lost my confidence for office work for about two years, and it was still another two or three years until I started pursuing my professional career again. It can really knock the wind out of your sails, but it's also a good learning experience. you learn the early signs of not enjoying a job and you learn better boundaries, I think (y'know, behaviour that isn't acceptable from both bosses and yourself, what the warning signs are to start looking for other jobs, what you need to feel engaged and appreciated).

It's like a break-up. Hurtful and devastating at the time, but years later, you can appreciate what you learned from it.

[resonant]

It wasn't a good environment, my boss was outright insulting and hostile at times, and my personal response to feeling out of my depth was honestly to waste time. It wasn't a good job for me nad I wasn't a good employee in it.

Wow, so so very much the same as my experience! As I've thought more about this (imaginary conversations with imaginary interviewers while driving my car -- doesn't everyone do this?), I've come to see that the main lesson for me in this is the importance of not taking the hide-in-the-burrow approach to dealing with (1) change in the workplace and (2) conflict in the workplace.

Well, and the other important lesson is not to take the job working for someone you know to be a weasel with rabies, and if you learn that your boss is a weasel with rabies, to start looking for other work immediately -- but I don't think I'll be sharing that with future interviewers.

[out_there]

Well, and the other important lesson is not to take the job working for someone you know to be a weasel with rabies, and if you learn that your boss is a weasel with rabies, to start looking for other work immediately -- but I don't think I'll be sharing that with future interviewers.

Hee! No, probably not a good idea to mention that little tidbit. Even if it is ABSOLUTELY TRUE.