Plus I have a zit on my chin

[resonant]

I think the universe is messing with me. I don't know how else to explain all the minor stressors coming up one after another.

First it was the house: The washing machine was leaking, and then it fixed itself. The microwave was tripping the circuit breaker, and then that fixed itself. The water heater, alas, did not fix itself.

Then my parents came up with a scheme for my mother's birthday that required us to fly down, stay two days, and fly back up -- a trip too short even to bother to reset my watch.

Then it was the computer; AT&T's one and only local access number went down and stayed down for ten days.

And just about the time it went back up, my car refused to start.

You know what my theory is? I think I'm being recalibrated. Or possibly beta-tested.

So! None of these are major enough to require sympathy, but I'd love it if you'd tell me a joke.

Comments

[paceus.livejournal.com]

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Okay, this made me giggle.

[neery.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love this kind of humor.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love this.