Overheard and overseen

[resonant]

Best search string used to find one of my stories: nipple+laptop.



-----

At the slide: "My butt don't fit through there no more."

-----

"My son's third-grade class was eight girls and him, and one day he came home and said, 'I need to take in some hand lotion and some lip gloss.' "

-----

"You can lead a horse to water, but I'm not touchin' it."

-----

"Have a good night. Day. Whatever. Have a good next unit of time."

-----

"Did you know what I meant by knacky?"
"I figured it was part of your native dialect."

-----

Behind the counter at the coffee shop: "Sorry. Grinding equals no hearing."

-----

"You have brightened my day. I lift my coffee to you. Um -- I lift someone else's coffee to you."

-----

"She has school pictures today, and her arms are absolutely covered with My Little Pony tattoos."

-----

"If espresso splashes you and dries, it looks a little like henna."

-----

"Who was on the phone?"
"Wrong number. She was looking for Papa John's Pizza."
"Isn't everybody looking for Papa John's? Isn't Papa John's just a metaphor for the ethereal reality of our existence?"

-----

The spouse: "Reading the newspaper is like looking at the night sky. You see all this light, and it's light from thousands of years ago."

-----

"So I arrived at five, and nobody was here, and it's six, nobody here -- seven, nobody here -- and after a bit I started thinking: Maybe I'm dead. Maybe I died in the night and I just don't know how not to come to work."

-----

The tech goddess: My week basically disintegrates as it progresses.

-----

The spouse: "Oh, I had to make up a story about you today to get through a difficult moment in the men's room."

Comments

[toft-froggy.livejournal.com]

Love the last one...